Goals are for life not just for January...
So many goals that I hear and see this time of year are around self care, people striving for a healthier mind and body. Except we don’t always end a year having achieved whatever it was that we set out to do, be or have… so why is that?
Most of the time peoples goals or intentions whatever you want to call them, are nothing more than a statement, a wish, a thought. Stating ‘I want to be happier’ ‘I want to lose 10lbs’ ‘I want to make time for more self care’ ‘I want to switch off more’ ‘I want to drink less alcohol’ are just thoughts out loud, they require no action.
So its little wonder that by around this time in January 95% of us have failed, fallen off whatever ‘wagon’ we got on, or just not even started.
What matters most is what you do next.
- State your goal/intention in positive language. Might seem simple, but using positive language both out loud and in our heads has a huge impact on our action. Saying we want to ‘lose’ or ‘stop’ anything implies restriction, and any restriction usually ends up with a binge. Wether its food, alcohol, social media or cigarettes. Using positive language matters, try using a positive statement, that is set in the present, try starting with ‘I am’, there is a truth in the saying ‘fake it till you make it’…
- Work out WHY you are doing it. Our reasons behind goals are our biggest motivator. If you don’t know why you are doing something, chances are you won’t be doing it next month. Make sure it’s for YOU, no one else, not something you think you ‘should’ be doing, or motivated by someone else wanting it for you. The majority of goals fail because they are simply not our goals, just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean you have to too. It’s ok to want something different.
- Write it down. SO much power in the pen. There is a reason our supermarket shops where we have written a list are more successful. Writing your goals and the reasons behind them, will have a massive impact on your success. Even more so if you revisit them often, write them out again, add new reasons, reflect on the impact your actions are having. Doesn’t need to be an essay. Reflecting and reviewing our progress is a skill worth building.
- Small matters. What we do daily matters. This is the HOW. ‘I don’t know where to start?’ Is the most common question in my inbox. Our days are made up of a million tiny choices, decisions, break it down, take it day by day, start small. A great question to ask yourself ‘What’s the next positive choice/decision I can make?’ The subject doesn’t matter, the choice and your decision does. Make it matter.
- Fail. (yes that really is a top tip!) we are all human, there is no perfect, we are going to fail. So expect it! Failing matters because its how we learn. How we make a different choice next time. If we don’t look into our failures, if we don’t take the time to learn from them, we won’t move forward. We will simply return to the comfort of old habits, behaviours and beliefs which is what made us want to make a change in the first place. Looking at failing from a new perspective will have a huge impact on your life.
- Celebrate. Celebration is one of our biggest motivators, but we so rarely do it as adults. We save it for special occasions, birthdays, holidays. Think about how we celebrate the achievements of our kids. Every little thing is celebrated, why? Because we want to build them up, we want to increase their confidence, we want to help them want to do it again. Celebrating doesn’t need to be big, it could be a high five from a friend, a hug from a partner, a dance around the kitchen, even a sticker if that motivates you!
Above all it matters that you start, you might have missed that 1st January feeling, but goals are for life not just for January.